this summer.

tomorrow summer ends. tomorrow my career begins.
ending, and beginning.

i wish i could put into words the truth i've begun to believe this summer. i wish i could express the heart change i've had, and not only the feelings i feel. but i'll tell you this. it's all because of Jesus.

"its all because of Jesus i'm alive, it's all because the blood of Jesus Christ."

i'm a dreamer. it's so easy for me to dream up my fantasy life and all the amazing things i want to do and be a part of. but i'm done with that. i'm ready to start doing. accountability here?

chicago was a retreat. it was a time of evaluation. a time of communion with my Savior.

when i say evaluation, i mean i stepped back. i took a look at where i've been. where i'm at. and where i'm going. i asked the Lord for direction, guidance, and for the most precious jewel of wisdom. my God has shown me so much grace. first in saving me from death. second in blessing me. blessing me more than i can fathom. there hasn't been a better season in my life than this summer. though it began with heartache i felt i couldn't live through, i now laugh because God's hand is so big, and so great. we serve a good God. this has been the best season of my life thus far, and i have full faith, because of my love for my Jesus, that I will only see more and more of His beauty in seasons to come.

the next season begins tomorrow. single. working. living at home. and the next season, of moving out for the first time on my own is coming soon. what an exciting time.

"we are not for one moment at the mercy of chance." but instead we serve a sovereign God whose plan is perfect. His plan is good. His plan is for His own glory, and by His grace we get to experience it!!

psalm 30.
i will extol You, o Lord, for You have drawn me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me. o Lord my God, i cried to You for help, and You have healed me. o Lord, You have brought up my soul from sheol; You restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit. sing praises to the Lord, o you His saints, and give thanks to His holy name. for His anger is but for a moment, and His favor is for a lifetime. weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. as for me, i said in my prosperity, "i shall never be moved." by Your favor, o Lord, You made my mountain stand strong; You hid Your face; i was dismayed. to You, o Lord, i cry, and to the Lord i plead for mercy: "what profit is there in my death, if i go down to the pit? will the dust praise You? will it tell of Your faithfulness? hear, o Lord, and be merciful to me! o Lord, be my helper!" You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing Your praise and not be silent. o Lord my God, i will give thanks to You forever!

let me reiterate.
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing . . . that my glory may sing Your praise and not be silent.
AND NOT BE SILENT.
and not be silent.

thank You Lord for answering my prayers for clear direction, now give me strength to obey.