james 1:22 . . . do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves. do what it says. [NIV]
2 timothy 3:16-17 . . . all Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. [ESV]
matthew 4:4 . . . man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. [ESV]
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i'm broken right now. humbled, majorly. today has been full of conviction. i've felt the Lord challenging me in so many areas. and in response, i've fallen. it's always been my struggle to be too hard on myself. to show grace to others, but hold myself to a higher standard. to try and be perfect. in reality, it's always been my struggle: self-hatred. why is it that i'm so self-condemning? why can't i take the Truth the Lord reveals to me, thank Him for His grace and strive to grown, finding joy in sanctification? no, instead it's so hard for me.
i currently feel like i'm failing to love others. i'm lacking in self-control. i'm lacking morale in conversation.
here i am, making myself god. idolizing myself. idolizing perfection.
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2 corinthians 5:17 . . . therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! [NIV]
romans 8:1 . . . there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. [ESV]
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my heart hurts.
glad i have a best Friend.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
my heart hurts.
Posted by ooohemily at 4:14 PM
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2 comments:
philippians 1:6 "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. "
He does the perfecting, you don't. and it takes until "the day of Christ Jesus" meaning the end of time. and it's a promise. you will grow and you will change. but He will do the changing... the perfecting.
and you're right (meaning the bible's right). no condemnation. like kevin deyoung said at NEXT "you can't forgive yourself... of course not! only God can forgive." same thing with change and growth... you can't grow, of course not. only He can grow and change you.
i love you. thanks for always making me thing about my own heart.
Thanks for being real. We seem to expect that the closer we draw to the Lord, the less sin we will see in our lives and yet it seems as though the opposite occurs. The closer we draw to the Lord, our sin becomes even more apparent, our selfish hearts even more exposed and even more disgusting. However, as you said, it is by His grace that we are loved, in the midst of our ugliness that He loves us. It is the gospel and it is absolutely amazing!
Our life seems to be a roller coaster of pride and humility. So often, we must be reminded that we don't have control and that our lives are completely in His hands. I know that for me, when those times of pride creep in, I love to pick up the Ragamuffin Gospel, read Numbers 22 where God uses a donkey to speak to Balaam which reminds me God can speak through a donkey and doesn't have to have me, or I listen to "Ministry Idolotry" by Mark Driscoll (link given below) where he calls out the idolotry in our hearts, and my sin is ever before me. Praise be to the Lord who has washed us in His blood!
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/ConferenceMessages/ByDate/2009/3968_Ministry_Idolatry/
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