He is the head.

psalm 95:1-7 . . . oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the Rock of our salvation! let us come into His presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to Him with songs of praise! for the Lord is a GREAT God, and a GREAT King above all gods. in His hands are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are His also. the sea is His, for He made it, and His hands formed the dry land. oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker! for He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture, and the sheep of His hand.

how great is our God?

so great that in His hands are the depths of the earth and the heights of the mountains.
so great that the sea is His, and His hands formed dry land.

"i am willing yet am so afraid. You give me strength when I say, i wanna be your hands, i wanna be your feet. i'll go where You send me" -newsboys

"take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love. take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee." -frances r. havergal


i've never been in a place where obedience is so difficult. so NOT in me. i've never been at a place so needy. there is NO good thing in me.

psalm 51:1-17 . . . have mercy on me, o God, according to Your steadfast love; according to Your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! for i know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. against you, you only, have i sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in Your judgment. behold, i was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. behold, You delight in truth in the inward being, and You teach me wisdom in the secret heart. purge me with hyssop, and i shall be clean; wash me, and i shall be whiter than snow. let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that You have broken rejoice. hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. create in me a clean heart, o God, and renew a right spirit within me. cast me not away from Your presence, and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. then i will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners will return to You. deliver me from bloodguiltiness, o God, God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of Your righteousness. o Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare Your praise. for You will not delight in sacrifice, or i would give it; You will not be pleased with a burnt offering. the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, o God, You will not despise.

that's my prayer. open my lips, and my mouth will declare Your praise. it is not even in me to open my lips.

psalm 53:3 . . . they have all fallen away; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one.

this summer.

tomorrow summer ends. tomorrow my career begins.
ending, and beginning.

i wish i could put into words the truth i've begun to believe this summer. i wish i could express the heart change i've had, and not only the feelings i feel. but i'll tell you this. it's all because of Jesus.

"its all because of Jesus i'm alive, it's all because the blood of Jesus Christ."

i'm a dreamer. it's so easy for me to dream up my fantasy life and all the amazing things i want to do and be a part of. but i'm done with that. i'm ready to start doing. accountability here?

chicago was a retreat. it was a time of evaluation. a time of communion with my Savior.

when i say evaluation, i mean i stepped back. i took a look at where i've been. where i'm at. and where i'm going. i asked the Lord for direction, guidance, and for the most precious jewel of wisdom. my God has shown me so much grace. first in saving me from death. second in blessing me. blessing me more than i can fathom. there hasn't been a better season in my life than this summer. though it began with heartache i felt i couldn't live through, i now laugh because God's hand is so big, and so great. we serve a good God. this has been the best season of my life thus far, and i have full faith, because of my love for my Jesus, that I will only see more and more of His beauty in seasons to come.

the next season begins tomorrow. single. working. living at home. and the next season, of moving out for the first time on my own is coming soon. what an exciting time.

"we are not for one moment at the mercy of chance." but instead we serve a sovereign God whose plan is perfect. His plan is good. His plan is for His own glory, and by His grace we get to experience it!!

psalm 30.
i will extol You, o Lord, for You have drawn me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me. o Lord my God, i cried to You for help, and You have healed me. o Lord, You have brought up my soul from sheol; You restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit. sing praises to the Lord, o you His saints, and give thanks to His holy name. for His anger is but for a moment, and His favor is for a lifetime. weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. as for me, i said in my prosperity, "i shall never be moved." by Your favor, o Lord, You made my mountain stand strong; You hid Your face; i was dismayed. to You, o Lord, i cry, and to the Lord i plead for mercy: "what profit is there in my death, if i go down to the pit? will the dust praise You? will it tell of Your faithfulness? hear, o Lord, and be merciful to me! o Lord, be my helper!" You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing Your praise and not be silent. o Lord my God, i will give thanks to You forever!

let me reiterate.
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing . . . that my glory may sing Your praise and not be silent.
AND NOT BE SILENT.
and not be silent.

thank You Lord for answering my prayers for clear direction, now give me strength to obey.

going back.

john 14:12-14 . . . i tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in Me will do what I have been doing. he will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. and I will do whatever you ask in My name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. you may ask Me for anything in My name, and I will do it.

Jesus promised me He will do whatever i ask in His name. and i'm asking to do greater things. i'm asking that this daughter bring glory to her Heavenly Father.

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there are christians everywhere! do you even know what i'm saying?! i feel like paul, traveling around and being so encouraged by those who are walking by faith.

i'm still in chicago. today i spent my day hanging out with laura's small group. it was like being with our singles group back home. it was a blast. i was overwhelmed with encouragement and love. these people welcomed me in like we have been friends for years. i left feeling the Lord's presence. what joy! i haven't laughed so hard in a while. i was literally in tears. this diverse group, from korea, the philippines, china, japan, chicago, the middle east, yes, diverse group moves as one body. though the depth of faith could always go deeper, the Lord's hand in this group is apparent. it's SUCH an encouragement to be away from home, yet still see the power of the Holy Spirit. and among this group hasn't been the first time.

the Lord has been giving me a boldness like I've never known. as i ask, He is filling me. my attempt at understanding is that i'm living without fear, for once. i have been talking to people without holding my tongue, talking to them as if they believe the same thing as me, and in that, people ask questions! it's incredible. sharing with a non-believer about how the Lord is working in your life BLOWS THEIR MIND. goodness, it blows MY mind too...

i think i could jab all night.

Lord, let this fire not go out. as it grows dim, fan the flame.

more wonderful than i can imagine.

"i don't understand, but i thank You. i don't understand, but i know that You are good. i don't understand but i know You're taking this away because You have something better." -joshua harris, boy meets girl

i had breakfast with some dear friends this morning. i was letting them know about where the Lord has brought me in this journey to chicago. carly put my heart into words better than i could.

"i feel like the Lord is saying, 'here is this incredible opportunity, but what I WILL DO is so much more brilliant.'"

in no way am i saying that the Lord wont show a flashing light requiring me to move here, but my heart is currently at peace that i'm called to remain in atlanta. it's been so cool the past week. do you ever pray with your family? ask your parents for counsel? i've felt the Lord calling me to do that over the past few weeks, and i'm determined to make it a lifestyle. the Lord is Lord over families. i'm so blessed for the one He has placed me in. praying with my parents the past week, each evening, and asking for their counsel and private prayer as well has been such a blessing in the decision making process. it's also been a blessing in drawing my family closer together. making them more of a priority in my heart.

the counsel of my parents, and the leading of the Spirit has brought me to a place of peace, certainly surpassing all understanding. the Lord has worked in my heart a ton this summer. bringing on a transformation of my desires. no longer is this career my biggest dream [next to marriage], but instead missions. i want to further the Kingdom. i want to serve the lost, AND the saved. that's where my heart is. not that i can't serve the Lord, as well as others through doing hair, but the Lord is making it clear that this job is no longer my desire. instead, my desire is to live in community. my desire is to encourage, reach out, serve, be bold, and live life along the family He has placed me in.

i wasn't able to sleep very much this week. some of that was due to my social schedule, but some of it was due to the Lord speaking to me. it's crazy to me how many aspects of life the Lord has taken my perspectives and turned them 180 from where i've always been. what a beautiful thing that the Lord opens the door when we knock.

matthew 7:7-8 . . . ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. for everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.

that's a promise.

the things the Lord has for me are more wonderful than i can imagine. the things He is calling me to will bring Him glory, because that's what He promises. it's so easy to fail, and i know i will time and time again. it's so easy to become distracted. but my prayer is for determination. my prayer is for drive. i want to strive to live on the edge of the cliff. willing to jump [probably in a squirrel suit] and with complete faith that the Lord is going to catch me.

john 14:12-14 . . . i tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in Me will do what I have been doing. he will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. and I will do whatever you ask in My name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. you may ask Me for anything in My name, and I will do it.

do we believe that. i'm trying to tap into understanding the authority the Lord has given me. have any verses to encourage that?

i miss you guys. already.

"how deep the Father's love for us."

my heart is touched. i feel an overwhelming sense of peace and joy.

1 john 4:18 . . . there is no fear in love, but perfect Love casts out fear.

and that perfect Love is our heavenly Father.

1 john 4:8 . . . anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

GOD IS LOVE!

what life the Lord has blessed me with! what life! SO RICH! rich in mercy, rich in joy, rich in forgiveness, rich in love, rich in GRACE!

psalm 113:3 . . . from the rising of the sun to it's setting, the name of the Lord is to be praised!




i pray this sense of the Lord's presence will not fade for the next seven days as i embark on this journey. what a blessing to be called out of the darkness to live in the light, as a light, with the Lord's authority to call glory to His name.

"i have become increasingly overwhelmed but not discouraged; and soon I’ll leave the infirmary feeling well." -jack's mannequin

glory to God in the highest.
and on earth, peace, goodwill towards men.

God blesses.

i'm glad.

i actually like music again. like finding new music. writing lyrics. loving lyrics [that never went away]. exploring bands, their history, etc.

i've been so short on words lately. probably because there is too much on my mind to verbalize. i'll be glad in a few months when i know what i'm doing with my life. for a day or so. heh.

so again, i'm speechless.

and i need prayer.

here's where i'm at.

try anything by your own strength, and fail.

oh!!

"what a glorious day, what a glorious way, that You have saved me!" -happy day

"this is the day that You have made, to walk in Your love and Your grace." -i will rise up

what a crazy day. productive. encouraging. real.

starting over is blissful. after a night like the one i had last night...today was the perfect day to follow. fellowship. encouragement. worship. rest. family. work.

i'm going to call last night my "samuel experience." though it was a rough one. and i faced attacks, i also saw victory. tonight i'll be tested. tonight i'm called to put into action where the Lord has brought my heart.

it's glorious that our strength comes from the Lord. it's such a great thing that in my weakness, HIS STRENGTH is made perfect. because i'm weak. i'm very weak. even after rest, i'm tired. very tired.

i'm so thankful for real people. like my mom. and my dad. and daniel. and joe. and meredith. and the twins. and james, and amanda. yeah, those are all the people i've come in contact with today, and i'm just so blessed by fellowship. i'm so blessed by talking about what matters. i'm so blessed by life together.

i'm also thankful for itunes. how cool is it to have a song on your heart, type it in, if you don't have it, you can purchase it immediately. the Lord is gracious to give us itunes. heh...

i can't wait for life. life is happening. life is beautiful!

my heart hurts.

james 1:22 . . . do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves. do what it says. [NIV]

2 timothy 3:16-17 . . . all Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. [ESV]

matthew 4:4 . . . man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. [ESV]

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i'm broken right now. humbled, majorly. today has been full of conviction. i've felt the Lord challenging me in so many areas. and in response, i've fallen. it's always been my struggle to be too hard on myself. to show grace to others, but hold myself to a higher standard. to try and be perfect. in reality, it's always been my struggle: self-hatred. why is it that i'm so self-condemning? why can't i take the Truth the Lord reveals to me, thank Him for His grace and strive to grown, finding joy in sanctification? no, instead it's so hard for me.

i currently feel like i'm failing to love others. i'm lacking in self-control. i'm lacking morale in conversation.

here i am, making myself god. idolizing myself. idolizing perfection.

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2 corinthians 5:17 . . . therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! [NIV]

romans 8:1 . . . there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. [ESV]

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my heart hurts.
glad i have a best Friend.