philippians 1:9-10 . . . and it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ.


isaiah 61:1-2 . . . the Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.


philippians 1:27 . . . above all, you must live as citizens of heaven, conducting yourselves in a manner worthy of the Good News about Christ. then, whether i come and see you again or only hear about you, i will know that you are standing together with one spirit and one purpose, fighting together for the faith, which is the Good News.


philippians 2:1-5 . . . is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? any comfort from His love? any fellowship together in the Spirit? are your hearts tender and compassionate? then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. you must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.


philippians 2:14-18 . . . do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. hold firmly to the Word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, i will be proud that i did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless. but i will rejoice even if i lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. and i want all of you to share that joy. yes, you should rejoice, and i will share your joy.


psalm 72:4 . . . help Him to defend the poor, to rescue the children of the needy, and to crush their oppressors.


psalm 72:12-14 . . . He will rescue the poor when they cry to Him; He will help the oppressed, who have no one to defend them. He feels pity for the weak and the needy, and He will rescue them. He will redeem them from oppression and violence, for their lives are precious to Him.


psalm 72:18-19 . . . praise the Lord God, the God of Israel, Who alone does such wonderful things. praise His glorious name forever! let the whole earth be filled with His glory. amen and amen!

i've been reading.

isaiah 54:5 . . . for your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; the God of all the earth.

isaiah 54:10 . . . "though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor My covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

remembering the truth about who i am in Christ. He has made me glorious. and because of that, He will be glorified.

isaiah 55:5 . . . "you also will command nations you do not know, and peoples unknown to you will come running to obey, because I, the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, have made you glorious.”

Lord, let my belief in who I am, because of YOU ALONE cause me to serve You.

ephesians 6:5-8 . . . obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord . . .

titleless. meaning, without title.

proverbs 18:24 . . . a man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a Friend who sticks closer than a brother.

it's finally hit me. i finally realize where the pain i've been facing has come from. all those i have turned to, those who i thought would understand, He graciously "taken" from me. and yes, by His grace He has done this. not to give me pain, but to bring healing. no one will understand me. not one.

He is the only friend. sticking closer than a brother.

i apologize to those of you whom i've run to. since april, when my "best friend" was lost, i've jumped around. each of you have graciously spoken truth. and i have repeated truth back at myself. time and time again. i think finally, tonight, at 3:26 am, i believe it.

such grace has He displayed! that He is always faithful [1 Corinthians 1:9]. He will NEVER leave or forsake [hebrews 13:5]

maybe i'll begin sleeping better.
i'm not alone.

i'm going to repeat myself.

over and over again.

"and I find peace when I'm confused.
i find hope when i'm let down.
not in me.
but in You." -switchfoot

i'm having these days a lot recently.
nothing but truth will keep me going.
i feel like i'm living without a reason.
but Truth is my reason. and that's truth.

. . . it's You.

i could be one of the most emotional people in this world. i write something. i complain about something. i remember Truth. then i'm smiling and laughing.

i need Jesus so badly. great thing i have Him.

"and it looks like the sky is caving in again
i'm dry and cracked, the sky goes black
. . . oh, Spirit fall like rain on my thirsty soul
. . . break me and make me whole" -switchfoot

i haven't been crying enough recently, i've decided. or being with people enough. or being honest enough.

so here's honesty.

i'm crying right now. i need someone. i've lied to people.

but people don't cut it. they really don't. no offense to you. or you. but you're simply not Jesus. isn't that something to rejoice about? i'm not Jesus. i just need Him, bad.

i haven't received a real hug in a while. i'm scared of hugs i've realized. if someone hugged me for real, i would have to be honest. the hug would be honest for me.

i'm hurting.

where is this pain coming from? i don't even know. i really and truly don't know. but something is stabbing me. something is causing me to be quickly angered. they're probably different things. but all sin.

sin is painful.

i'm glad the Lord has led me to stay home. not just in ga, but in my parent's home. i need them.

my heart broke last night. hope center banquet. there was a testimony of a girl from kenya, victim of human trafficking. she's now on her own. she's a registered nurse with a little child. she is free from slavery. imagine how thankful for life SHE is. life in perspective.

why do i life so selfishly?
why do i live so scared?
why does it take a specific time of the week, group of girls, and focused heart for honesty to occur.

my prayer is for a honest and vulnerable heart. at all times.
my prayer is that i would be hands and feet, for a magnificent Jesus.
my prayer is a changed heart.

"and I find peace when I'm confused.
i find hope when i'm let down.
not in me.
but in You." -switchfoot

when our hope is in the Lord, our joy is made complete.

today was an encouraging sunday. i talked with aaron for a few minutes, and the Lord simply blew my mind. besides that, women's discipleship. brilliant. i feel like i'm journaling. no, not online.

grace unmeasured . . .sgm
---
grace unmeasured, vast and free, that knew me from eternity, that called me out before my birth to bring You glory on this earth. grace amazing, pure and deep, that saw me in my misery, that took my curse and owned my blame so i could bear Your righteous name. grace paid for my sins and brought me to life. grace clothes me with power to do what is right. grace will lead me to heaven where i’ll see Your face,and never cease to thank You for Your grace. grace abounding, strong and true, that makes me long to be like You, that turns me from my selfish pride to love the cross on which You died. grace unending all my days, You’ll give me strength to run this race and when my years on earth are through, the praise will all belong to You

"prone to wander Lord i feel it, prone to leave the God I love. here's my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above." robert robinson

i feel like i have so much to say.
but really, there are no words.

psalm 130:5-7 . . . i wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope. my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. o israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.

unfailing love.
full redemption.

redemption -- deliverance; rescue.

recognizing my need for the Lord has been constant the past few months. currently, my body wont allow me to do anything but sit here. i'm missing work, my second week with the job. i'm not making the money i need to be making. but i will trust the Lord. i will trust Him in His unfailing love.

my limited understanding of Love doesn't change who my God is and how His love works.

what freedom we have i Christ. what freedom we have in knowing we're saved. saved from death. this pain, this illness, even death itself has no power. no power over the God over all.

"God over all, giver of life and health and breath, i want to sing of Your love." -sgm, God over all