for the first time in my life.

"the more you focus on the supernatural, the more you focus on God Himself, the more you know Him, you realize how trivial everything else appears." -francis chan

1 peter 1:5-15 . . . for this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. for if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. for whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. for in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Therefore I intend always to remind you of these qualities, though you know them and are established in the truth that you have. i think it right, as long as i am in this body, to stir you up by way of reminder, since I know that the putting off of my body will be soon, as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me. and i will make every effort so that after my departure you may be able at any time to recall these things.


make every effort

what do i try my hardest at?

these qualities are what keep us from being ineffective.

am i more focused on what i want to -do- than who i want to be?

"God is more concerned about changing you than changing your circumstances." -francis chan

"He wants to see His children with grace and peace multiplied on them. and that comes from knowing Him." -francis chan


for this very reason

what reason? go back in 1 peter.

because we have been GIVEN all these things!

"are you thinking in your mind, 'i get to change!" or, 'i have to change?'"

"God not only gives you this new desire to want righteousness, but He gives the power that enables you to achieve it." -francis chan

it starts with faith.



His divine nature has given me power!

bill faris

"I believe the genius of the Jesus People movement was the empowerment of everyday people to take the ministry of Jesus to everyday places - from school campuses to coffeehouses. From private homes to rock concerts. From streetcorners to city parks. "Jesus Freaks" were always looking for opportunities to take the gospel to the places and environments where the people of their generation lived their daily lives. The whole world was their mission field . . ."

learn from myself.

i've decided to go back and read the "book" i wrote almost two years ago. i want to see how my heart has changed. i want to see how my writing style has changed. and i want to be reminded of the truths the Lord used so vibrantly at that time in my life to call me to trust Him.

what a faithful God we serve. a God WELL WORTH serving.

Psalm 48:1 . . . Great is the Lord, and most worthy of praise.




"Multifaceted. Adj. Having many faces or aspects.
Is that a word you use or hear used to describe the Lord? Often? It should be.
I habitually find myself forgetting how comprehensive my God is. And He is.
It is so easy to place our loving God in a box, is it not? It’s so easy to give Him limitations based off of our limited minds."
-bdtb, chapter 1.


"Our relationships with the Lord are different . . . This doesn’t change who our God is, but only how we experience Him. You may have known him well, ever since your childhood fifty years ago. But I was saved as a child and I have only truly known Him and experienced a relationship with Him for the past 4-5 years.
He may be a Father to you, because yours isn’t around. He may be your best friend because you struggle socially. He could be someone whose existence you struggle to admit to at times. A relationship with Him could be a chore, or something your parents, friends, or spouse has pushed, or even forced upon you.
Does this change who He is? No. We each experience a different relationship with Him. We all see different sides of Him, different characteristics.
Once again, this is not to say our God changes.
Malachi 3:6 . . . “For I am the Lord, I do not change.”
Instead, He has the power to be a Father to the fatherless [Psalm 68:5], a closer Friend than a brother [Proverbs 18:24], and a righteous Judge [2 Timothy 4:8]. He is still God." "
-bdtb, chapter 1.


"Control says God can’t.
Expectations limit His power."
-bdtb, chapter 1.


"There is a vastness to our Savior which is to be taken a hold of. A mystery, a wonder, which we are to embrace."
-bdtb, chapter 1


"Letting go of the control you think you have over your life is what you’re doing when you accept Christ. When you “become a Christian” are you not giving your life over to Him? Does it not mean you are no longer your own?
Giving up control, unfortunately, as we well know, doesn’t just happen when we say that precious prayer. Instead, surrender to the Lord is a lifelong, difficult, every-moment-of-every-day process which we will struggle with until the day we see Jesus face to face.
That does not mean we should give up. This battle is one we must choose to fight. If we are to love the Father, embrace His multifacetness, and live a life of intimacy with Him, a heart that gives up control is necessary."
-bdtb, chapter 1

the coolest thing i've realized recently.

is this.

God is sovereign. He has a sovereign plan for my future.
but more than than.
HE HAD A SOVEREIGN PLAN FOR MY PAST.

every little, and not so little thing that has happened to me.
every person i have come in contact with in the past, almost 21 years.
every time i've gotten in the car.
every time i've gone to church.
every day i've woken up healthy.
every day i've woken up with a headache.

HE PLANNED IT.

He planned ever word. every motion. every action. every interaction.

He has used each and every moment of my my life for His own glory.

and -i- get to be a part of it.

it's simply a blessing.
simply a joy.
and not so simply changing my life. the way i view Him. the way i view myself.

HE IS USING ME FOR HIS GLORY.
and.
HE HAS USED ME FOR HIS GLORY.



"Beautiful Lord
Awesome and mighty
I'm captured by this love I see
Beautiful Lord
Tender and holy
Your mercy brings me to my knees
It's Your mercy that has made me free
Beautiful Lord." -leeland

the rainbow in my hands.

it's cold. quite brisk. the hot chocolate and watered-down-coffee combination in my cup makes me smile. there's something acoustic playing in the background. i feel the color in my hands. i'm alone. so alone. so content. close your eyes. can you see it?

it's a rainbow.

what inspires you? what makes you want to be who you're going to be?
who inspires you?

nobody told me i couldn't be what i want to be. except me.

sitting there in that spinning chair
fa la la's in my ear
it's not the challenge, it's the fear.

he wants to feel to bomb drop, the earth stop.

don't let the earth stop.
you, stop.

Jesus is creative.
He inspires me.


why do i think of so many different things that will get me where i want to be?
why can't i simply focus on where He has me. growing me. changing me. preparing me.
using me.

i spilled that drink all over myself.
i washed the rainbow down the drain.
i turned the heat on.

things change. so simply.







"we can build through this destruction." -gavin degraw
...feeling like a disaster.