sanctification

it's a word i've never understood. not until past weeks.

it's God's grace, at work in my life. changing me, completely.

sanctification: "to make holy; set apart as sacred," "to purify or free from sin," "to make productive of or conducive to spiritual blessing."

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for example.

holding my tongue. it blows my mind when i realize, "wait, did i really not say that out loud?"

i'm seeing grace in my speech. i've got a long, LONG way to go, always will, i'm sure, but by the Lord's power, i'm resisting temptation. i'm holding my tongue in so many areas. in taking control, in fighting back, in being fowl.

in holding my tongue, i'm learning to listen. really, you get to know people a lot better when you really hear what they're saying, and it's easier to see the truth behind what they're saying, and their motives...listening is a big deal.

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psalm 109:21 . . . but You, o God my Lord, deal on my dehalf for Your Name's sake . . .

it's obviously all for His glory. beinging His children to glory only glorifies Him more.

thoughts?

blown away.

do you like the wind? i really do. even if it's car-created. windows down, amazing. a sun roof, even better. but a convertible?! i've decided it's something i'm working towards.

a 1965, yellow mustang convertible.

blast.

does that blow you away?

i'm blown away by more than the wind tonight. mercy.

mercy. "an act of kindness, compassion, or favor." "something that gives evidence of divine favor."

the wind, to me, is God's mercy. it, "gives evidence of divine favor." it's God's powerful hand, moving to show kindness and compassion. it blows me away.

that's all i got.

my flesh.

the first time i saw this, about two years ago, i thought to myself, "that's beautiful."

do you know how sick that is? i've thought about it a whole lot, through my hippie accusations and my "let's love" mentality. truth is, without Jesus, that's who i would be. a hippie. an anything goes, whatever works for you, love works for me, lets get high, life is to be lived...hippie. like i said, without Jesus.

but by His grace, i've been saved from that. by His grace i have to walk that seemingly fine line between LoVe! and God's love.

it may be trure, in fact, it is true, God's love is unconditional. and it's also true, Jesus walked this earth living out that unconditional love. His love was accepting. His love was genuine. and His love was for everyone. but where the fine line falls, is believing for one second that Jesus didn't call people out. we can't think for one moment that Jesus didn't tell people how it is, challenge them, and speak truth.

so that's what true love is. true love is Truth, speaking Truth. no matter the consequence. or a better word, sacrifice.

that's where i fall. thats where i struggle. telling people they're wrong. though i feel like i simply want to be kind, and that i don't want to appear prideful, it is in actuality my pride that keeps me from speaking truth. no matter how i try and fail to justify my "aaccept them" mindset, it's always wrong. there is truth in accepting people, accepting who they are, where they're at, but there is no truth in not speaking out. there is no truth in holding back.

so it is a fine line. at least for my flesh. it's hard for me to be the one stepping on toes. the Gospel is offensive, yet i in no way want to offend.

why? fear. worry. rejection.

so what am i called to? sacrifice.




just a few thoughts i've been rethinking. a few things i've been meditating on. perhaps the Lord has provided challenge or encouragement to you, where you're at.

romans 12:1-3 . . . I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.

I’ve forgotten how much I love writing. In beginning to read again, I’ve been inspired. I’m finishing up, “Boy meets Girl,” by Joshua Harris…it has only proved to challenge and encourage me right where I’m at. Here’s a hint of my new perspective.

I want to court!

In coming out of a painful and rough almost 3 year dating relationship, my perspective on marriage has changed completely. I’m finding that the man I want is the man I have to wait for.

The Savior’s grace has blown me away more now than ever. In freeing me from my greatest idol [my ex-boyfriend] He has brought me to a place of true joy and peace in Him.

My perspective on courting in the past has been skeptical and judgmental. Though somewhat true, I thought there was nothing wrong with “dating” as long as we tried to glorify the Lord. And we did. We did try. But through a lack of guidance and guarding, we did nothing but set our relationship up for failure, and it failed. We set ourselves up for pain, and regret, and it occurred.

So my perspective has changed. Courting or dating, no matter the terminology, I know things will be different in my future. I now know what I want.


What do I want? The man I want is one who pursues. A man who forces me to be a woman. A man who finds joy in wooing me. A man whose desire is to do nothing but lead me to the Lord, honor and love me.

I’ve been searching for the man I want since I was fourteen years old. When I’ve had crushes, I’ve pursued the thought of a relationship. I’ve been open about feelings. I’ve fiddled around with hearts trying to find what I want. I have taken control.

But again, what do I want? The man that I want, that I described two paragraphs up, he isn’t one I can find. He is one I must wait patiently for.

If I want a man who will pursue me, doesn’t pursuing him completely defeat the purpose? If I want a man who forces me to be a woman, doesn’t my leading the relationship ruin everything? If I want a man who finds true joy in wooing me, will my nagging a man who doesn’t help anything?

The man whose desire is to lead me to the cross, whose desire is to honor and love me, he is worth waiting for.

“Faith for a man is willingness to be rejected. Faith for a woman is willingness to wait.”

By God’s grace, I’m waiting. By God’s grace He has opened my eyes. I was blinded to the joy He brings in waiting. I was robbing myself of what I truly desire. My true desire is from the Lord. He has placed that desire in my heart. That desire is not for the man I want, but instead for the man I need. And by my Lord’s amazing grace, that man will find pleasure in pursuing this wreck of a woman.

It’s hard at times humbly realizing the time I’ve wasted. It’s painful to think of the mistakes I’ve made. Yet in my weakness, my Lord has proved strong. In my brokenness He has been my comfort. When I, like Israel forgot His power, He has consistently proved faithful.

I couldn’t be more thankful. I wish I could come up with real words to describe how the Lord has saved me, but none express His glory.


This place I’m in isn’t one to be taken for granted. I’ve found joy and peace in waiting for the past few weeks, but what about when it takes years? His grace is amazing, and it’s enough for me. I must continue to cling to His promises in a daily pursuit of faith. Just because I’m ecstatic now doesn’t mean I will not grow weary. But my hope is in the Lord.

I’m currently being called to truly place my hope in Him. I am praying about a job opportunity in Chicago. This is huge.

Moving to Chicago means leaving 20 years of life behind.
Moving to Chicago means giving to the Lord my idea of how my love story should be written.
Moving to Chicago will be a step of faith I’ve never had to take.

That step of faith is my biggest desire. I want to respond to the desire the Lord has given me for this job, the opportunity He has provided, the talent He has given me, and His timing. If my hope is truly in Him, leaving Woodstock and leaving what’s familiar, only His perfect plan for my life will unfold.

The two topics of this blog may be completely unrelated to you, but to my dreams and my plan, they go hand in hand. I know the Lord will only continue to blow me away by His love.

One last thing that the Lord has put on my heart, I don’t have to let go of my dreams. I simply have to hold them with open hands. “Open hands” is something I could go on and on about, but I choose not to at this particular moment in time. But there is great joy in knowing my dreams are not bad, but simply nothing compared to how the Lord desires to bless me. I must keep my hands open so the Lord may give and take away.

Psalm 84:11 . . . No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.

Proverbs 16:9 . . . The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes His steps.

Psalm 37:4 . . . Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.